Do Women Like Men With Guns?
Disclaimer: This brief article cannot possibly cover all aspects of this topic, nor will it
attempt to. Nor does this article pretend to be the last word on a complex topic which is more subjective than
objective. My reason for writing this is to raise some issues that are often ignored, but which are probably going
to receive more attention, should our society slide closer to martial law, civil war, anarchy or another world war,
or all of he above.
To introduce this subject, I'm going to relate a scene from the movie Six Days and Seven
Nights, starring Harrison Ford and Anne Heche. Ford, a private airplane pilot has flown Heche and her fiance to a
tropical island, Makatea, and soon after their arrival, she has a job-related need to fly back to Fiji. Ford
agrees, they take off and are faced with a storm that forces Ford to make an emergency landing on the beach of a
small island. While plane-wrecked, they encounter vicious pirates who chase them, catch them and then lose them.
The newly-freed duo are walking in the jungle, and Heche begins the exchange...
Heche: "I am so scared."
Ford: "If it makes you feel any better, I'm a little scared
Heche: "No, no, that does not make me feel better."
Ford: "I thought that's what
Ford: "Men who aren't afraid to cry, who are in touch with
their feminine side."
Heche: "No, not when they're being chased by pirates. They like 'em mean
Men are attracted to women for a variety of reasons, and culture plays a significant role. An
Inuit man wants a woman who can fish, hunt, sew hides into clothing, cook and so on - mostly practial skills
related to harsh life and survival in the Arctic. Physical beauty and communication skills may not figure high on
his list of desireable qualities.
Western man has other criteria: intelligence, sense of humor, creativity, warmth, compassion,
physical attributes and so on. I used to generalize, saying that men want a companion, women want attention. Since
this discussion is more about what women want, let's look at this in light of the above scene.
If there is no threat to safety, women have their preferences regarding the qualities they want
in a man. However, when bad guys show up and/or there is perceived danger, possibly a threat to life, women are
willing to overlook types of behavior that would normally be turn-offs, if the guy compensates by being big, strong
You might be thinking, "That was a movie. Women don't really think like that." As a matter of
fact, I questioned the validity of this idea during the movie, many years ago. I started asking women about this
preference for mean and armed men, when faced with danger. So far, all the women I asked agreed that this is true
for all women.
It's not rocket science, it's surival, and some women are better at negotiating their safety
than men. The movie example above is straightforward - there are only two people facing the pirates. Heche doesn't
have to think about which man among several will serve her interests best. In fact, she has no choice. But that
other situation - a group of men and women - is easy to imagine. Here, several women among several men, a woman
might feel that she had better make her move and team up with a man before another woman acts first. She is acting
to ensure her survival, not choosing a mate for life.
This social manipulation and competition tends to manifest in young and immature individuals.
Would we expect different social dynamics among older adults? Would mature adults behave like their younger,
competitive counterparts? Or would rationality and wisdom prevail over emotions and hormones? It's hard to predict;
people are complex creatures. Few people deal with danger, including life-threatening situations, often enough to
develop the inner strength and confidence to remain calm and rational when faced with an adrenaline situation.
Many years ago, I worked as an EMT for an ambulance service. My co-workers and I faced life and
death situations almost daily. However, it was rarely our lives that were threatened, because we were helping
victims of accidents, suicide, murder and so on. But we felt responsible for the outcome, because we knew that our
actions could save or lose lives. And in spite of our efforts, some people did not live. Ambulance work can present
high adrenaline situations. Some of us were better at coping with this stress than others.
Consider the response many people have to an encounter with a dangerous criminal. What is that
response that has been repeated and drilled into us from a young age? Dial 911. And why would we call the police
when, for example, two men are breaking down our back door? That's easy - police have guns. Unfortunately,
policeman with guns are usually not where they are needed at the time we need them; they need time to come from
wherever they are to our house. Too often, police arrive too late to prevent violent crime. They simply can't
protect everyone all the time. If the police can't protect us, who can? I'm glad you asked.
We can. Excuse me for stating the obvious, but people have been dealing with danger and
enemies for millenia. Police are a relatively recent invention, possibly first used by wealthy land owners to
protect their estates from their slaves and indentured servants. So, why don't more people own guns and learn how
to use them for self defense? The answer, as you may have guessed, is political.
I realize I am straying from the topic, but this perspective is important to our understanding
of people's reluctance to arm themselves, and hence why so many still rely on the police, when records show that
such dependence can be, and too often is, fatal. The Federal Government (The State) wants a monopoly on force. If
you don't pay your taxes, men with guns will come to arrest you. Imagine the situaton if everyone had guns - the
State would lose much of it power to coerce you into compliance. The State is behind efforts to portray guns as
evil instruments of war intended to kill people. See how clever they are? They can have guns to force your
compliance, but you can't have them to protect yourself.
As a result of decades of brainwashing (Eric Holder's word) us to think about guns in the way
that The State wants - evil instruments of war - some people avoid them out of conditioned fear. Others, who have
resisted the brainwashing, embrace guns as necessary instruments of self defense in a violent society. Men and
women carry concealed guns on a regular basis. Statistics prove that when the law supports gun ownership, violent
crime declines. More guns equals less crime. A hundred times more lives are saved each year due to gun ownership
than are lost due to gun violence.
Now back to our topic. As more women arm themselves, the phenomenon of women seeking protecton
from men with guns may gradually decrease and even disappear. I welcome such an evolution of preparedness. When
facing danger, men often have enough to do protecting themselves. If they have to protect unarmed women, everyone
is at much greater risk. If women are armed, the odds more than double in everyone's favor.
So if women feel less capable or confident than men when confronting enemies and danger, and if
guns equalize this disparity of strength, why do more women not embrace guns as a partial remedy to their apparent
weakness? I suppose the answer lies at least partly with the brainwashing and conditioning mentioned earlier, and
ignorance. Only people who know little and have some political agenda talk about 'assault' rifles and 'evil
instruments of war'. Too often, these people are wealthy politicians with armed bodyguards, living in guarded and
gated communities. When they talk about guns as evil, they don't mean the guns carried by their bodyguards, no, no,
those guns are okay. It's your guns they don't like and want to register, ban and confiscate. Why? Simple.
They want more power over you and me, and our guns keep them from imposing more power.
So, ladies, I suggest getting a book (see Resources)which
describes the pros and cons of owning and carrying a concealed gun, and when you feel you understand it well, you
will be in a better position to decide if guns have a place in your self-defense life. In the meantime, if you are
unfortunate enough to encounter someone who wants to do you harm, you can always dial 911 and pray. I give them
about equal odds of success (dialing and praying).
And gentlemen, lest you feel left out of this discussion, I would make the same suggestion to
you as for ladies. Study up on concealed carry. My suggestion to you, however is a bit more pushy than it was for
ladies, because you are, by nature, the protector of women and children. Don't bring a knife and pepper spray to a
gunfight. You will probably lose. Carry a gun, and learn to use it well, while also learning how to diffuse
conflicts, instead of escalating them. Lethal force is a last resort.
Men, if you are men, and if you are not armed, ask yourself what you will do if confronted by
someone who would do you harm. Will you cry to the police to protect you, or will you take care of it yourself?
Don't go and buy a gun, thinking it will make you look cool, or it will magically draw defenceless women to you, or
even that it will scare off bad guys. Buy a gun because you accept responsibility for your own safety and
self-defense, and because you want to be prepared to protect others.
Important note: Guns are not for everyone. And guns are not for revenge. If you're a wimp,
don't buy a gun. If you think that drawing your gun will suddenly make bad people cooperative, don't carry a gun.
If you think that Die Hard and similar movies are 'gun educational', don't carry a gun. Guns don't work like they
do in the movies. If you are going to carry a gun, get an education about how to do that safely, how to avoid
conflicts, and how not to have to use your gun.